Can anybody hear me?

Seems that I’ve been hearing that G-S.org isn’t showing up for various people. I have no way to explain this. Perhaps when the database was erased it did more damage than I had at first anticipated.

Regardless I have to say the funniest part of the entire situation is the fact that even though ‘real’ people are having a hard time accessing the domain.. SPAM bots aren’t. I’m still getting anywhere from 20-30 ‘fake’ fake blog comments every day. Just today, I’ve already deleted 15 and it’s not even 5pm. No clue what the problem is.

I’m going to take some Vicadin and sleep off my toothache. Perhaps if I look at it again this evening with a clear approach I’ll find the underlying problem.

UPDATE::: For the time being, every G-S.org entry will be availble at both G-S.org and GS.journalt.com.  Hope this helps with the viewing problems.

Well, yesterday I got the brilliant idea to ‘back up’ all my entries so in the case of server failure they’d be safe. Humm safe to say something went wrong and I ended up deleting the database. If you happen to notice this symbol “” in the posts it’s because the backup for some reason saw fit to insert them. I find the entire thing very annoying, however I haven’t the time to go through all 200+ entries and fix it just yet.

Looks like Adam will be starting a new career as a correction officer on my birthday. I’m not sure whether to jump for joy or cry.  The thought of finally getting back on our feet and finally having our own place to live is overwhelming.  I must say any one would have to agree that a 6 month stay with the in-laws is enough for anyone. I’m so relieved it’s almost over.

Even though words can’t describe how happy I am to have left the military lifestyle behind me (unless you count Adam drilling once a month with the national guard), I never knew it would bother me this much to have my friends there so far away.  I miss them all.  I miss the long night talks… watching dumb movies… discussing random topics… sharing dumb husband stories… I miss it all.  I can’t imagine going though life without them with me.  Even now I long to pick up the phone and have them meet me for lunch even though I know it’s impossible.  I know even if we had stayed in the military duty stations come and go and with them so do friends.  Still, I can’t stand the idea of Abbey not growing up along side her first ‘friends’ and having growing relationships with them.  I guess now the only solace I have is fate.  Perhaps some day fate will decide to set us all down in the same part of the world together once again.  Until that day, as long as I have Internet access I will do everything in my power to not lose touch with any of them.  After all, without them I probably never would have survived the deployment.

Our bags are packed. All the furniture we own is being boxed up and shipped off to storage. It’s sad to watch your entire life being carted away in boxes. Some how as I sit here at the computer desk for what will more than likely be the last time, I can’t help but feel the emptiness within the room that was once so full of life.

I’ve already made all the necessary phone calls to bid my final farewells to all the friends I’ve come to know and admire.

Is this really goodbye?

…or so the song goes. Adam’s mom flew in from West Virginia to take Abbey home with her. All of us figured the car trip back would be too much for everyone to handle. Especially Adam and me who already have to squeeze a dog in the back seat.

As happy as Adam’s homecoming was I knew even then it was bittersweet. I’m being forced to leave the house that I’ve called home for the last 2 years. The house will always have a special place in my heart. It’s full of so many of Abbey’s firsts: first day home from the hospital, first smile, first words, first steps, etc. It pains me so much to leave it behind. Even though both Adam and I knew that separating from the Army would mean leaving our home behind.. neither of us ever imagined it would hurt this much.

Adam is home. I can’t quite find the words to express how I’m feeling right now. I’m happy, sad, confused, and anxious all at once. The rush of emotions I felt when I finally had him in my arms again was unexplainable.

I guess now all that’s left is for us to slowly try to find a connection with each other again. We’ll have to ease into it gradually as both of us have changed so much over the course of the last year. In a way the thought of perhaps never getting back to the place we were before he left scares me. Have we changed too much?

Well I’m finally updating.  I just received the call I’ve been waiting for the past 14 months — Adam will be home tomorrow.. now I feel I have so much to do and so little time to do it.

The piggie slippers are pink again!

 Bernie made it in some time last night.  I was so dead tired I never heard her entrance.  It wasn’t until around 7am that her prescence was noticed.  I awoke to the sound of water running and a dog barking… for a mere second I wondered if I was back in Korea with Adam and if my past two years at Fort Hood had all been a mere dream.  Nope… the later call of the baby brought me back to reality.

The weekend should be nice.  I have to make a quick run to Sam’s Club today for diapers but other than that I really have nothing planned.  It’s so nice to have a semi clean house and nothing to fret over. 

Abbey keeps stalking Bernie’s dog Herbie.  Poor thing!

Well the doctor’s appointment went well.  I actually managed to get through the visit without a pap.  I was thrilled.  The army doesn’t provide Lybrel yet so I decided to go with Yaz.  With the way they have it planned though, after this month I shouldn’t get another period until January.  Fucking Sweet!

I made a huge mistake with my last load of laundry this evening.  A pair of my jeans got mixed in with some of Abbey’s stuff and now her pink piggy slippers are gray! EEEK! I’m trying to remedy the problem… I may have to go out and buy some special products tomorrow.

Bernie is due in from Houston tomorrow night.  I’m so excited.. I haven’t seen her for a few months so we should have a nice relaxing weekend.

Yay so Abbey’s follow up appointment for her ears went well today.  I’m so glad the infection was completely gone.  The pediatrician took several looks at the two bruises on her forehead.  When she finally asked about them I explained that my little acrobat took a tumble off her chair.  She didn’t seemed to concerned after that.

 I have to go in to get birth control pills this afternoon.  Considering I haven’t had a pap in sometime… I feel there’s no way I can avoid it… no matter how much I’d love to avoid it.  I have to have the pills before Adam comes home.  Financially we can’t afford another baby right now.. no matter how much my “Mommy urges” keep telling me otherwise.  I read about a new pill that just hit the market this past summer called Lybrel.  It’s suppose to stop your periods all together so I’m going to attempt to see if I can a prescription for that.  The thought of no longer having to plan my life around my monthly visitors sounds so ideal. 

I talked to Adam online for about an hour yesterday.  He’s more than ready to be home.  I keep telling him only a few weeks left now.. and then he’ll be here and we’ll be getting things prepared for Abbey’s second Christmas.  If only I could keep myself so positive.  The voices in my head keep filling me with utter loneliness and worry.